Sunday, July 13, 2008


I knew I'd gained a couple of kilos on holiday, but this fact became cruelly evident to me when, during a game of hide-and-go-seek with my kids, I became wedged in Ben's dirty clothes hamper.

After being 'found' by Ben, I tried valiantly to free myself. I wiggled and wriggled. Laura offered me a hand and tried to help. Nothing worked. I was stuck at the hips. I sent the children to get their father, who was glued to the football on TV.

From my seated position in the blue container, I could just discern the conversation in the TV room.

"Da-ad. Mum's stuck in Ben's dirty clothes basket."

"What? She's what?" (this snorted derisively)

"She's stuck! She tried to hide in there and now she can't get out!" (this accompanied by gleeful twittering laughter)

Muttering grumpily, and taking his time, Fatty stumped through the house to Ben's room. By now I was grinning widely. I can always lose those extra kilos, but I believe I have set a new record for klutziness, and that can never be taken from me.

Fatty began to smile despite himself. "How on earth did you expect to fit in there?", he scolded. I gave no reply, merely lifting my arms up in supplication. Fatty pulled and heaved. My bottom remained firmly stuck within the depths of Ben's laundry bin. Fatty sighed, and tried lifting me from under my arms. Still I stayed hunkered-down tight. By now I was giggling, and Fatty's frustration only made me laugh more.

"We'll have to lay you down", decided Fatty, as he eased the laundry hamper into a reclining position. I was by this stage weak with laughter. Finally, I came unstuck, worming my way to freedom and lying leaking tears of mirth on Benjamin's bedroom floor.

I haven't laughed that much since Laura did her puffer fish imitation.


Puss-in-Boots said...

Welcome back, Jelly. I hope the weather was warmer where you were than it was here.

Sounds like you had a lovely time playing hide and seek! But I don't think you've put on weight...the laundry hamper has shrunk!

shellyC said...

Firstly - I believe the laundry basket must have been extra small anyway!! Secondly - so much laughter would have shifted a few pounds - surely!!

Remiman said...

Those are the moments when someone should remember the video cam.
There is no better medicine than laughter, and it's contagious to boot.
Welcome back. Hope vay-kay was revitalizing for all.

Heather said...

I've seen you on the webcam recently and you don't look heavier.

But you made me laugh!

Elaine said...

Oh dear, that is so funny - and I agree with puss-in-boots that the hamper must have shrunk.

So many things do shrink these days.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I never laughed so hard in all my life!!!! Kilos sounds like a lot of weight to me Jelly, but then I don't know the metric system at all.

I guess being stuck in a hamper is like getting into a tight fitting pair of jeans...I mean it's the opposite. You have to lay down to get into them, the jeans.

I'm still laughing and I know I'm going to be bursting out with laughter all day long today every time I picture you stuck in Ben's small hamper, and nobody will know why I'm suddenly laughing. I sure hope somebody doesn't tell me that poor sweet aunt Polly died or something like that or I'll be in serious trouble with the family.

Dang it Jelly! I still can't stop laughing.

Redneck Mommy said...


My darling Boo probably would have ran to get the camera so he could show all his buddies about his um, bendy wife.


Smooches, friend.

John Cowart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Cowart said...

You are likely to hear this story told and retold by your husband and children for years to come. They will never forget no matter how much you want them too. You have given them a legacy.
Besides, I thought black belts were supposed to be able to fight their way out of a cardboard box.

Heidi said...

And now I have not laughed so much, either!!! Hilarious!!!

And it is so good to see that you had a good laugh of it, too. I might not have been so jovial until after I got out!

fifi said...

I think you were lucky to fit your bottom in there in the first place. Currently I would find that difficult...

Stomper Girl said...

Well thankyou, I too had a very good chuckle over this.

And I do love how you're the one being wedged in the hamper but your husband's the one who gets called Fatty. That makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Stomper Girl said...

Not that I'm calling you fat! Just to be clear. That's a very small hamper and most grown-ups would struggle to get in there, let alone out. I just find it very funny that you call your husband Fatty.

jellyhead said...

Yes, Stomper Girl, you are not alone in finding it odd that I call my beloved 'Fatty'. I once had a drunken girl berate me for having such a 'belittling' name for my partner - this was at a party, pre-marriage or at least pre-kids!
I think it is that Aussie opposite thing, like calling redheads Bluey, because he is actually not even a little bit fat. (If he were, I would never have called him that, truly!)
I am definitely fatter than Fatty :-)

freefalling said...

One Word (!?):
Funniest Home Videos.
What a perfect way to get your hands on an extra $10000.
Sell your soul!
Very disappointed.

(yes, very good news about diseased husband! - I'm still a bit pissed off at him though!).

meggie said...

Welcome home!
Sounds like you all had fun.
Have you ever tried Ben's laundry hamper 'on' before? Maybe you haven't gained weight after all!

Colleen said...

Oh my word, this is hilarious!

Mimi said...

This is hysterical.