Wednesday, September 17, 2008

on being the Mum

Now & then, when telemarketers ring, they mistake me for a child. I answer the phone as I always do: "Hello, Jelly speaking!", and they respond sweetly, "Oh hi! Is your Mum or Dad there?". I usually pause, laugh, and then assure them that I actually am an adult of the house. As they bumble and stumble over their words, I briskly dispatch them, telling them we are in the middle of dinner/I'm at home with a sick child/I'm just not interested in their product - whichever excuse happens to be true at the time.

Today, a young man telephoned. I answered in my usual way, and he politely stated his name, and his company, then asked if my parents might be around. A little tired, a little testy, I sighed and snapped, "I'm the Mum!". Then, realising just how silly that sounded, I added quickly, "and I'm not interested in re-financing the mortgage".

Not missing a beat, the young chappie chirped, "Well, take it as a compliment!"

"Mmm", I humphed. "Thanks anyway. Bye."

I hung up and began to grin. My words echoed back to me in my mind. "I'm the Mum!" I repeated to myself incredulously. I rang my husband at work, giggling. "I just told a telemarketer 'I'm the Mum'!", I snickered. Fatty didn't seem to find it particularly funny.

Perhaps I am over-tired. Perhaps I am losing it. Perhaps I am snowed-down under the weight of cooking and scouring the bath and ironing and homework and folding and swimming lessons and work and childrens naughtiness and husbandly misdeeds. I've finally cracked and my family will be very sorry they were ever less than deeply loving towards me. Because dammit, I'M THE MUM!!!


Susan said...

Or you could do like I do and say, "I'm sorry she is not in, may I take a message?"

Sometimes it is fun to pretend you are not indeed the mum!

Elaine said...

I live on my own and take great exception to being asked if the csaller can speak to the man of the house. That's it - no possible sale!

Heidi said...

I shared in your "snicker" and understand the place you are at with all the things going on... good to have a laugh about all of it once in a while... or even a PJ Day of your own! :-)

Remiman said...

I'm very discourteous to telemarketers: "hello."
"can I spesk to, Is this the person, etc."
I don't utter a word beyond hello.

However one night I picked up the phone and was thought by the caller to be my teenaged son and was made an offer that if accepted would have ended my marriage. :-)

Isabelle said...

Just come over from Fifi's blog because you made exactly the same comment that I was about to (have you counted your toes?) so I thought I'd just see if we thought the same about everything.

And I've been reading some of your archives and I do like your blog. Though I'm always polite to cold callers. I have to shield them from my normally nice husband, who can be a bit severe with them.

So sorry about your mother and also the bashed chin. Are doctors not supposed to be awfully calm about injuries? I suppose it's different if it's your child.

Anyway. Hello. I'll be back. Right now I have to go and do some marking.

Stomper Girl said...

Poor you, sounds like you need some *you* time at a fabulous spa or a cosy B&B or on a nice beach. So you can recharge your Jelly batteries; being the Mum is very hard work!

That said, telemarketers manage to upset everyone really. You wonder why anyone bothers with it as a form of sales-personship. Well I do, anyway.

shellyC said...

I just left a comment and blogger bloody ate it!!

All I said was that I always say I am the babysitter when the dreaded telemarketers call!!

oh and then i went on about wishing i was your way to take you out for drinks!! day!!

TUFFENUF said...

I am tired of the telemarketers! I just let my answering machine pick up all the calls. I can always call friends back!

Flossy said...

That's cute! Obviously, you have a very youthful voice - lucky you!!

I'm like you, tell them no thanks and hang up...unless they sound tall dark and handsome :) (I wish!)

Heather said...

You do sound like a little girl on the phone! :-) You have the sweetest little voice.

Zip n Tizzy said...

I once handed the phone to a very chatty 4 year old... what goes around comes around... it took them a very long time to get him off the phone!

meggie said...

Love this post!!