for Pa

Pa. It's strange to think you are gone. I can still hear you humming hymns as you pottered about your house. I can still feel your favourite cardigan under my fingers as we hugged. I can see you yet, sitting deep in thought, your hand absent-mindedly smoothing down your silver hair.

I remember raucous games of cards around the kitchen table, and your astute and daring plays. I recall your speech at our wedding - a rambling discourse full of love and pride. You liked radishes with your lunch. You took your coffee black, two heaped sugars.

You had a sweetness and a generosity and a naivete about you that moved me to the verge of tears whenever we parted from you - even before you fell ill. You were quick to tears, too; you wore your heart on your sleeve.

You brought up your son, my husband, to be the strong and gentle and honest man that he is. He misses you.

Wherever you are, Pa, I hope you can feel how much you are loved. I hope our affection and adoration surrounds you, holds you up, keeps you warm and safe. May you rest in peace.