Wednesday, January 28, 2009

couch potato goes too far

My day started rather oddly, with this single sentence emanating from my clock radio, as the alarm went off:

'A bloke in Britain survived more than two days under a couch by sipping from a bottle of whisky'.

That was it. The radio announcer must have just drawn breath to speak when my alarm went off, and although I fumbled to turn off the alarm, I finally pushed the 'silence' button right at the end of the announcer's sentence. If I was schizophrenic or psychotic, I'd have been convinced that someone was sending me disturbing messages through the airwaves. As it was, I pondered over this unusual pronouncement, as I changed into running shoes, T-shirt and shorts.

For starters, why was someone trapped under a couch? How does one get stuck there? Was the poor fellow reaching to remove a dust bunny he'd spotted, and then erk! his arm was irretrievably wedged? Was he passing the couch, which was propped against the wall to make the living room appear more spacious, when suddenly the couch slipped, pinning him to the floor? The mind boggles. (Certain types of getting stuck, on the other hand, are completely understandable)

And secondly, how would sipping whisky help one survive? I mean, I suppose it might help get you in a better mood. You could tell jokes to yourself, slap your leg as you snort laughed, and then hiccup softly as you dozed, forgetting you were in actual fact stuck under a couch - but apart from that? Surely the alcohol would dehydrate you? Perhaps the man survived despite the whisky, rather than because of it.

These questions and more tortured me as I prepared to go walking with my friend Belly. I shook my head in amazement just thinking about the couch-squashed man, as I latched the dog lead onto the beagle and went out the front gate. But then beautiful Belly arrived, all smiles and morning cheer, and we strode off into the day, leaving all thoughts of couch-dwelling whisky-swiggers behind.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

wild coastlines, wild animals and wild children

We've been away for a short break down the south coast of Australia, to spend time with Fatty's family. I've never been along the Great Ocean Road, and the scenery along there is superb.

Down on the beach, I found this very cute, fat-legged nephew creature. It made lots of noises such as 'Daddeeeeeee!' and 'Dat!' and it apparently does bite on occasion, but refrained from biting any of our family.

There was a sign up in this nature reserve, telling us that if an emu approached us aggressively, we should 'raise a hand above your head, so as to appear to be a larger emu'. Are emus really this clueless, that they would believe a middle-aged woman in a bright pink sweatshirt with her hand held up above her pink-hatted head was a very large emu? I didn't get a chance to find out, thankfully.

This Highlands Copperhead, a highly venomous snake, was peacefully sunning himself (herself?) by the side of the track. We said hello, but didn't stop to chat.

We made it home safely. No one was attacked (except Fatty on one occasion but does he think I'm his slave?). All's well that ends well.

Friday, January 09, 2009

finding the silver lining

This morning it occurred to be that although I can be a worrier, I'm probably not the closet pessimist I always thought I was.
I mean, would a true pessimist look at these skies......

...... and hang these clothes?..........

I think not.

P.S. It hasn't rained yet either!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

New Year

I find myself starting 2009 with a curious mixture of anticipation and trepidation. I'm looking forward to many things, and yet I am fearful of others. I am counting all my blessings, but looking over my shoulder as well. I know the anxiety is pointless, because 'que sera sera' - it's just how I am right now. I think having my brother in a war zone is messing with my head a bit. But he has made it in safely, and his position does not put him at the front line. Of course, I still worry.

It's been fun having time at home with my kids, as they enjoy their school holidays. Laura is drawing some fabulous, inventive pictures, and mucking about with plasticine. Benjamin is reading more every day, and watching documentaries about animals mating ('Whoops!' I thought as I actually watched to see what he was viewing. Thankfully, no pertinent questions followed). We all have fun playing soccer in the backyard, and playing 'Three of a Crime' (a card game) whilst lazing around on our living room rug.

Christmas was actually very easy this year - cold meats and salads, no fussing, no family tensions ..... lovely! My dear Fatty gave me a book on creative writing which I am devouring. It's amazing how some simple advice has made me want to write, write, write. I am scribbling away secretively. We shall see whether anything worthwhile comes out!

Now it is well and truly 2009. I hope you have all had some time to relax over the holiday season. Thank you for reading my blog and for all your kind, funny and interesting comments.

I wish you each a year full of happiness.