Thursday, March 09, 2006

birds on the brain

Before I say anything, let it be known that I am myself a person of great nerdiness. I was born nerdy, grew up nerdy, and have remained so. I have never entered the ranks of the cool people. I am quite comfortable with that.

But there's nerdy and then there's beyond nerdy. There's regular, slightly-unfashionable-and-occasionally-socially-awkward nerdy and then there's HUGELY, no-need-for-contraception-when-your-husband-is-this-nerdy nerdy. My husband has definitely approached this threshold.

Yesterday, Fatty had an afternoon off work. So what would any good birdwatcher do? Of course, he donned hat and sunscreen and disappeared off to the bush with his camera. But just before he left, our 3-year-old Ben starting crying, bleating, 'I don't want you to go bird-watching, Daddy'. Guiltily, Fatty promised he'd meet up with us at swimming lessons in an hour, and then he slunk away to get his birdie fix. Tweet tweet.

Ten minutes into the kids' swimming lessons, I figured Fatty probably got distracted by the striking markings of a blue-faced honeyeater. Understandable, really. But alas this was not the case. Striding towards me along the length of the pool was a sweat-streaked Fatty, in tucked-in polo shirt (ugh), yard shorts (hmmm), with belt (what?), and some grotty running shoes, with socks sneaking towards mid-calf region (who *is* this man?!). The whole ensemble was set off by the fact that Fatty's hair, having been compressed under his Akubra hat, had morphed itself into a kind of comb.....rooster-like. I bravely smiled in greeting, and tried my best to look loving and accepting. Perhaps I could pass him off as my brother.

It seemed all the other fathers there had trendy shorts, or funky shirts, or earrings in one ear. They lounged, casually, as Fatty whipped out his camera and started furiously snapping shots of our aquatic-dwelling offspring. He refused to sit down, preferring to remain standing and snapping. I furtively tried to smooth down the peak of hair on his head. He snorted derisively, " Who cares? I'm not here to hit on anyone, I'm watching my kids swim!".The woman next to me glanced at my shiny, rumpled husband, and politely averted her gaze again.

Now you all know I do adore Fatty, and I'm not so superficial as to think any less of him just because he publicly humiliated me at the pool. But let's just say that when Fatty's been out birding, the blue-faced honeyeaters probably want to be close to him a hell of a lot more than I do. And even they take flight.


Flossy said...

Oh Jelly, you poor thing! LOL

Maybe you should take him shopping for some new clothes? Or a stylist maybe?

Or just don't let him out of the house again!!

susan said...

She's back!! I was wondering how long it would take you to start writing like your old self! The nice sugar-coated posts since your identity was uncovered have been lacking that spark!

Just kidding you, of course, I always like reading your posts, keep up the good work!

Motherkitty said...

But, isn't that why you fell in love with him in the first place, because of his rumpled hair and casual clothes?

I'm sure the kiddies didn't care if he came to the pool in combat boots as long as he kept his word and showed up. They probably loved it that he gave up his birding time to witness their Esther Williams-like arabesques in the pool.

Loved the post! And, the picture of the blue-faced honeyeater.

(You, nerdy? No, couldn't be.)

John Cowart said...

What a cool guy!
Definately a keeper!
A high cut above those poolside tv-news-reader clones.
That gal averted her eyes to keep you from seeing her envy.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Well...when you've been out in the bush, hot & sweaty and with a cap on...I guess you wouldn't look as neat as those guys lounging at poolside.

I've looked like Fatty many times and can relate. I have felt like the nerdiest person on earth each time I am sitting on the back of the motorbike: it's hot, I'm getting squirmy, my bottom is going numb, I'm sweating, my head is covered with that heavy helmet and my head itches and I'm poking whatever I can find, up my helmet to scratch my head...and I have to pee.

When we finally stop, I've waited too long to pee and can hardly walk, my clothes are twisted and stuck to I'm pulling them out of places they shouldn't be, I take off my helmet and my hair is wet, flat & matted and I look a fright...And I am sometimes too EMBARRASSED to go into the gas station to pee...and then someone mentions that we need to go somewhere nice to eat.

So I guess I can be classified as hugely nerdy at nerdy that I don't even want to associate with myself, when I see me coming.

I thought your post was extremely funny, but your description of Fatty reminded me that sometimes we can all be a bit nerdy at times...and I have got to quit writing these long comments. I could have written this as a post on my own blog. LOL

TUFFENUF said...

My son is a nerd! He could care less about what he is wearing or his disheveled hair. I wish I could be like the nerds, and not care about how I look. They have a freedom that the rest of us we never have.

shellyC said...

Too funny!!!! Can really relate!!!

mackeydoodle said...

Hee Hee...thanks for the great visual:)
I say bravo to Fatty for not giving a hoot what others think. (but knee socks & shorts???*shivers*):D

cmhl said...

that is a great story!!

Gopher said...

It's all right jellyhead, us men are like that, why should I look good, Im not here to "pool" sorry bad pun I know but hey it was there ok. I can honestly say that in the fashion stakes I don't even rate at all. I wear what's comfortable. Oh First visit here, you can blame Heather for the visit, she kinda insisted I visited, but only kinda:).

jellyhead said...

Ah, good to hear you can all feel my pain.

John, your comment was 'very insightful'. (Guess who said that?!)

Truthfully, I respect the fact that Fatty doesn't care what others think of his attire - even if I also hate the end result!

Gopher, hello and welcome! Thanks for stopping in to say hi!

manababies said...

lmao. I'm sitting here with the baby asleep on my lap, trying my hardest not to laugh for fear of waking her up. I think that is so cute that he birdwatches as a hobby. And he started taking pictures as the kiddos swam. Although now that I think about it, I can imagine the same thing happening to me and my husband, only I'd be the one to show up completely disheveled while he hides under the beach towels.

Heather said...

You are so funny, Jelly!

But I am certain you are not a nerd at all. You are one cool mama!

Anonymous said...

Well we can't change them, so we just have to love the hubby's!

Mine wears a baseball hat every wear.

The Four Bears in the Woods said...

So funny! I laughed so hard I about fell out of my chair. I too can relate to this.


Great Post Jellyhead!!!!

LZ Blogger said...

I just loved all of the unique birds in your country. (Which is VERY beautiful)! ~ jb///

Kerri said...

I've enjoyed reading your last three posts jelly. Fatty sounds like a real sweetheart. Yep, knee sock with shorts sure is nerdy.
No wonder you love him :)

jellyhead said...

Hi lz blogger, thanks for stopping by! I love the photos on your blog, too - but also your commentary - especially your remark about how we all are able to find beauty almost wherever we are. So true.

Hello again Kerri, thanks for your kind words!