Saturday, July 14, 2007

fowl play

This is a story involving two dear friends, 'Ocker' and 'Belly'.

Ocker was in my year at medical school. Ocker is a sunny, friendly sort of guy. He is knowledgeable, and a very good doctor, but in some ways he is just a little naive. And take it from me, I am very familiar with naivete. Being somewhat naive myself.

Belly, Ocker's wife, is pretty switched-on, but being of a quieter nature than Ocker, she tends to defer to his opinion, unless she is absolutely certain of her facts.

The other day, Belly, was around here having a cup of coffee with me. She was chatting about backyards and gardens, and she mentioned that she and Ocker had been toying with the idea of buying some chickens. Both Belly and Ocker thought that chickens might be nice pets for their young daughters, with the added benefit of providing fresh eggs. However, they had recently discussed things further, and the idea had been shelved.

"Oh?", I enquired politely. "What made you decide against it?".

Belly shifted uneasily. "Well", she explained sheepishly, "Ocker reckons that unless you keep a rooster with the chickens, the chickens won't lay. And we can't have a rooster in suburbia." Belly paused, then added sceptically, "Ocker says the only way to get chickens to lay without a rooster is to get a stick, and gently poke them in the backside every day. And no way am I going to go around poking chooks' bums."

"What?!" I fairly shrieked, grinning from ear to ear. "That's not true! Chickens lay eggs without a rooster. I can't believe he told you that! Belly, he's pulling your leg."

Belly chewed her lip thoughtfully. "No, I don't think so. He didn't have any sort of smirk when he told me. I can tell when he's teasing me."

"Well then someone's told him that, maybe even years ago, and being a city boy, he's never found out it was all a joke, " I decided.

"I'm googling 'chickens laying' and there's absolutely nothing here about sticks", my husband called from the dining room.

At this unusual interjection, I collapsed into laughter, and Belly joined me as it dawned on her that her wise husband was not always as wise as he seemed.

So which came first - the chicken, the egg, or the stick up the chicken's bottom? Only you can decide. Vote here. Vote now.


Remiman said...

OMG Jelly, that is the most hilarious story I've heard in a long time...ROFLMA!
I raised chickens for ten years or so, with and without roosters. I think if I'd poked them in the butt with a stick they'd have stopped laying. ;-)
There are as many stories about chicken eggs as there are people telling them, ie: brown eggs are more nutrious than white, fertilized eggs are better for you than unfertilized and on and on. Basially, aside from different colors and size, eggs are eggs.
Btw, does fatty poke you in the butt with a stick when he wants you to ovulate? ;-)

Redneck Mommy said...

I am so filing this story away to tell my children in the future...I mean, what's the fun of being a parent if you can't tell them about poking a chicken in the bum???

Thanks for the giggle...

I can't stop smiling...

Motherkitty said...

As soon as I wipe the tears from my eyes (from laughing so hard) I will say that this city girl has never heard of ANYBODY poking chickens in the butt just to get them to lay eggs. Just the thought of it is too disgusting to think about.

Whoever told your friend about this "trick" was really pulling his leg. And Fatty is too funny for words. To even think of Googling this topic to prove a point is hilarious.

Thanks for the laugh of the day.

meggie said...

Having grown up with chooks who laid eggs, & no rooster, I was reading this with disbelief! Then I read further & collapsed with laughter.
What a great story! & the visuals it conjured!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Oh Jelly, what a wonderful story to read and start the day with a good laugh. Fatty seems a bit of a character. Googling it...aaaahahaha!

Your poor friend was certainly taken in by her other half...presumably he was pulling her leg? One would hope so!

thisisme said...

Ow, I hurt from laughing. That is hilarious. I love that Fatty googled it. Did he check for a wikipedia entry too? Maybe that is why my sisters chickens give her attitude - she's been poking them :)

John Cowart said...

That explains it. I must look like a giant chicken... at least, the urologist who did my prostate exam must have thought so!

Princess Banter said...

Oh god, that was FUNNY! I know someone who has that shirt that says "Who came first? The chicken or the egg?" And there was a picture of an egg doing a chicken. It was hilarious....

Kerri said...

Thanks for a good laugh this Monday morning Jelly.
Perhaps the smarter they are, the harder they fall? (I'm not talking about the chickens here).
Hilarious :)
Fatty is a riot.

Anonymous said...

my mom raised chickens. Roosters only fertilize eggs. Chickens lay no matter what, until they get to old.

fifi said...

Now THERE'S a job for someone: chook butt poker.

Sandy said...

Ha Ha Ha...I can just see Ocker going around the chicken coop poking chickens in the behind. I don't think you could get them to lay eggs if you ran after them with a big stick trying to poke them. hehehe

Alice said...

I used to poke chickens with a long stick - true! I had to 'poke' them down out of the large cypress tree at dusk where they preferred to roost instead of seeking the safety of the hen house. One would have thought they would have liked a nice cosy henhouse much better than a poke in the bum with a long stick, but they were back again the next night.

Not sure that it made them lay any more eggs, though.

TUFFENUF said...

Funny story, Jelly! I have been walking around all day shaking my head saying, "Poking chickens in the butt!" . . . just when I thought I had heard everything!

freefalling said...

This isn't as stupid as it sounds!
(At the risk of outing myself as a BB viewer), the housemates on Big Brother were having a major discussion about their resident chooks and just how they go about laying eggs if there is no rooster!!!
I like the stick idea - I wonder what the actual theory is, regarding the way the stick works!

Mimi said...

This reminds me of the whole are you as smart as a fifth grader. How funny.


Proud Parents said...

My girlfriend's 5 year old son Kyle came up with a decisive answer to this age-old riddle. We asked him, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?". He gave an impatient sigh, and said very clearly, "No... It was a Rock!"

Good answer I reckon - the rock came before both of them.