Tuesday, December 02, 2008

innocent remarks

I'm not sure if all kids are this weird or if mine are weirder than most. They do have my DNA after all.

This is what my son said to Fatty and I, apropos of nothing, as we all sat eating dinner tonight.

"So! What do you think about each other since you've married?"

We both almost choked on the spaghetti, and I'm sure I snort-laughed. I went running for a pen so I could write down Ben's latest quote. When I returned, Fatty was soberly telling Ben that he was quite happy with his decision so far. (Quite happy? I needled. Just 'quite' happy? Not really happy, or plain happy? Just 'quite' happy??)

It was all laughter and happiness and fun and games, and 'isn't Ben funny' indulgence. And then Ben came up with his second quotable quote for the evening, as I was standing in shirt & undies, ironing a pair of pants to wear to a work meeting.

Ben (approaching me, peering at my legs): Are you wearing stockings?

Me: No, why?

Ben: Oh, no, you're not. So why are your legs all crinkled?

Me: (inwardly cursing my cellulite, hating my cellulite, wishing I had killer thighs and a bouncy butt) Oh, that's just what happens to legs as they get older.

Fatty looms around the corner grinning silently, herding Ben towards the bath before he can crush my self-image further.

Gulp.

I am not my cellulite. I am an intelligent, interesting, independent woman and it shouldn't matter what my legs look like.

Double gulp.

24 comments:

Elaine said...

Oh, deepest sympathy.

Mind you, he IS funny.

Motherkitty said...

Out of the mouths of "innocent" babes! Just tell him that all those dimples are caused by your running after him (mini-muscles, so to speak). They sort of smooth out as you get older and more sedentary.

thisisme said...

I should know that if you mention your kids I should put coffee down until I'm done reading. Ben is a classic - he cracked me up.

Nice to know that Fatty is quite happy - and even better to know he can herd Ben when you are feeling a little sensitive.

Heidi said...

Too funny! Good thing you have it ALL down in words now! ;-)

Oh, those silly little beings that we love... they drive ya crazy, don't they? (In the best way, I say!)

Stomper Girl said...

I'm sure your legs are fine, you were probably just standing in some unflattering light.

Stomper Girl said...

Oh and Mister Fixit is always with the "quite"s (as in quite happy, dinner is quite nice, howdoilook? quite nice) and my response is exactly like yours! I think he thinks quite means very.

Isabelle said...

Quite can mean very, as in "he was quite dead". I'm sure he meant that. And I'm sure your legs are fin.

I am reputed to have said to my Granny (who was about the age I am now), "Granny, you're an old lady, you've got a rosy and wrinkly face and a rosy nose."

And she still loved me.

Isabelle said...

Fin??? I'm sure your legs aren't fin at all. Fine, fine, fine. Anyway, what are trousers for? To hide legs.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I think with Ben around that you'll never run out of cute posts to write about.

I'm sure that your legs are fine. It must have just been the bad lighting.

Puss-in-Boots said...

I'm just recovering from the spluttering laughter when I read your post, Jelly. What's that Ben going to be like when he has girlfriends???

Kids keep us from getting too cocky about ourselves, don't they?

fifi said...

I'm SURE I left a comment here this morning! where did it go?


Good to see Ben is already shaping up as a quantifying analyst. Should be good in human resources, see, already he's gauging satisfaction levels within the familial unit.


I'd be encouraging eye contact, though, rather than under the table gazings....

John Cowart said...

I'm glad you're keeping a record of Ben's sayings... Back in the 1700s, Ben Franklin recorded his pithy sayings in "Poor Richard's Almanack"; he made a fortune out of them and they are still read today.

I think your Ben is on the right track.

Remiman said...

Jellyhead,
Ben is the best; quite!
rel ;-)

meggie said...

SG tells me my skin is old, but his is new!

Mimi said...

Kids say the darndest things and half the time their pretty near true. We are not a sum of our physical attributes thank goodness.

Mimi

mackey said...

You just gotta love those dinner time conversations:)

TUFFENUF said...

Just wait until he is older. I can't believe the comments my teenager makes!

Kerri said...

Now I know what Ross was laughing about a little earlier. He called out, "Be sure to read Jelly!" And now I'm laughing too. Ben is such a riot :)
I'll bet Fatty thinks your legs are 'quite nice'. LOL
I'm sure they're lovely :)

Isabelle said...

By the way, how could anyone not like "Good King Wenceslas"?

Jellyhead said...

But Isabelle, the melody is just so clunky and pedantic! I have always disliked that carol. Mind you, hearing a mutated version involving the lyrics - "Good King Wences' car backed out, on a piece of Stephen" - may not have helped.

I'm sure millions of others the world over would back you up on this one, but I just hate that song!

shellyC said...

Yep - Ben is weirder than most but oh so funny!! Funnier than many!!! Oh what a catch he will be - quirky and funny!!!!
...oh and honest!!!

funny

Blue Mountains Mary said...

I am here via the Fish though I do recall now that I have read your comments over her way for a while now.

I have been reading your archives and smiling and thinking and feeling very happy to have found you.

And Ben.

And Fatty.

And your girl child.

Alice said...

Oh Jelly, it's such a shame that you have to put up with the deflating comments in order to hear those childhood gems, isn't it?.......lol.

Your legs still work and I bet they look fabulous.

I look at 'quite happy' as an extension of happy......so I would be 'quite content' with that, rather than just content....lol.

Isabelle said...

Maybe I like "GKW" because it's quite hard to sing well; it's a challenge not to sing "Gathering winter feeeoooooo-oooooo-ellll". Also perhaps you don't empathise with trudging through snow in the winter, when it would be very nice to have warm footsteps to stand in?

I like the words, too: "Mark my footsteps, good my page" - I like the rhythm of them and the repetition.

But then you could say most of this about "Amazing Grace", which I loathe. It must be the snow, then.

You and Fifi met up? What fun!