Sunday, December 12, 2010

beginning all over again

How can it be the end of December already? I'm sure it was June just the other day. And I'm not alone in this sense of bewilderment ... I've heard this sentiment repeated countless times by others. How could the entire year have all but slipped away? My heart is beating faster than usual, and I have a nagging sensation that I've forgotten something.

I have actually forgotten a few things. I've forgotten to be more patient with my kids. I've forgotten to visit my grandfather more often. I've somehow forgotten to write regularly - to record thoughts and moments and stories. I've forgotten to shut my mouth in that moment before it gets me into trouble, and I've forgotten to meditate every night. How did this happen? To be honest, I didn't even totally forget - I just didn't quite bother to do all these things.

Oddly, I don't feel too daunted by my failures. I feel a little regret, yes, but right along with that is a great whack of hope, of energy, of purpose. Because a new year is coming - a brand new, wrapped-in-plastic, never-been-opened set of 365 days lies ahead. Never mind that the start of this 'new' set of days is arbitrarily designed, never mind that in reality one could pick any set of three hundred odd days and call it a new year. Never mind all that! Soon it will be 2011, and that means everything will be different. Or at least, it could be different. It can be different if I make it so. If we all make it so.

I wish you joy in 2011.

17 comments:

fifi said...

Oh!!

What a fabulous surprise.
I feel the same,and perhaps I should join you in pledging to write more often.

I wish you a joyful year! Look forward to hearing from you.

thisisme said...

So lovely to see you - what a wonderful surprise. I'm sure it was April yesterday, so December 30 is quite a shock. Have a wonderful 2011 Jelly

Heather said...

2010 will always be a special, amazing, landmark year for me because it is the year when I got to spend time with my friend Jelly IN REAL LIFE! :-)

Love you, Jelly. Peace and joy to you too!

freefalling said...

Oh hello stranger.
Yes, very soon it will be 2011.
Like in 12'ish hours.
But I haven't finished with this one yet!!!

Happiness upon you and yours for 2011.

Stomper Girl said...

Happy New Year Jellyhead x

fifi said...

I read this post on my iphone and so didnt see the very pretty new page....its lovely.
happy NOO year

Meggie said...

So thrilled to read this post! We all need to be more forgiving of self, and more understanding of our 'clay feet'. After all, we are just Human, & we all falter along the way.
I wish you Joy for the coming year of 2011, and always remember to be kind to you! who is the most important person in your world! Love & hugs XXXXXXXXXXXXX

rel said...

Jellyhead,
Happy new Year!
I was so thrilled to here from you the other day.... thanks for the visit, I've missed you.
rel

(facebook.com/blarock) if you're so inclined :)

rel said...

"Hear" if you don't mind :)

Jellyhead said...

fifi, thank you! And yes, please write more this year - your prose is truly sublime.

thisisme, hi & Happy New Year to you!

Heather, love you too :-)

freefalling, hope 2011 is everything you hope for!

Stomper Girl thank you & same to you!

Meggie hello! Thank you for being so kind and warm always - you should resolve to stay exactly the same in 2011!!

Hi Rel, all the best for the new Year!

John Cowart said...

Hi Jellyhead,

I just searched your name from Google News to see if you might among the folks caught in the flood.

I sure hope you and your family are safe and dry; a lot of folks care about you.

John

Pam said...

Oh, how lovely to see you back. Happy New Year (and I'm sure you don't need to change much!)

Puss-in-Boots said...

I know exactly what you mean, Jelly! I haven't made resolutions, that just sets me up to break them. However, I have found myself decluttering and making more of an effort. That's a good thing...how long will it last? Doesn't matter at this moment.

Happy New Year to you, Jelly, and it's good to see a post from you.

Jellyhead said...

Hi John and Isabelle and Puss-in-Boots. Happy New Year!

John, there has been a great deal of rain where I live, but fortunately our house is in a slightly elevated area, and we haven't been subject to flooding. However the rain just keeps pounding down, and these floods are the worst in my lifetime (and in my parents and grandfather's lifetimes too). Many people are homeless, and there have been a number of drownings - I heard on the news tonight of another woman drowned in a country town. The country towns and cities seem to be the hardest hit, and many are cut off by road. My own mother is stuck out on her farm, but she assures me she has plenty of food! Thanks John for your care and concern.

thisisme said...

Jelly, I'm glad to see from your last comment that you and your family are safe from the flooding.

Alipurr said...

hey, Happy New Year!!! don't be too hard on yourself!! I am also thankful for new years, new months, new weeks, new days, new mornings....sometimes even new minutes hahahahhahaha

you are an awesome woman!!! looking forward to reading your awesome 2011 thoughts :)

Unknown said...





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