Wednesday, April 05, 2006

the truth is out

My mother phoned me yesterday. She had a smiley sound to her voice, and I asked her immediately...

"So? What news have you got then? You sound like the cat that got the cream!" (I wondered to myself idly, is it 'got the cream' or 'ate the canary'?)

"Nothing, no news,"Mum replied, " ...just that sometimes I read what you've written on your blog, and I want to shout to the world that's my daughter!!. I'm just really proud of you."

I've written before of how supportive my mother is, and yet again I counted my lucky stars for this mother of mine, who always thinks the best of me. At the same time, I felt somewhat uncomfortable with her praise. In fact, if I must be honest, I am a little fazed by the wonderful comments I received after my last post. You, my blogger friends, have given me such glowing compliments that I feel....well...I feel a bit of a fraud! I thanked my mother for her words, and I really want to thank all of you, my readers and blogpals, for giving me such wonderful and positive feedback. But, as I told my mother, I'm feeling like I need to redress the balance here. Because so far on this blog, I've told the work stories that are uplifting, or feel-good, or interesting (at least, interesting to me). Funny how none of these stories happen to portay me in any kind of a bad light.

Funny how I haven't posted about the consultations when I lose track of what my patient is saying, because I'm wondering if I remembered to defrost the chicken for dinner. Funny how I haven't posted about when the chemist rang me up last year and said did you really mean 5ml of this syrup daily? - because that is a really large dose. Mmmm. It is. Let's make that 1 ml daily. (Thank you, you clever, observant pharmacist!! Mwah Mwah!) Funny how I haven't posted about how I once got so irritated by a middle-aged male who came to see me with a list of demands, that I actually saluted him and barked, "Yes, SIR!".

I won't go on. I don't want to disillusion you all too much. There may be only so much truth you can handle before you decide to boycott my blog. Or petition to get me deregistered.

Just take it from me.... I make mistakes in my job; I just choose not to publicise it too widely. I am a doctor just like many others. I know many compassionate fellow doctors, who are kinder, and more patient, than I am. I know many, many doctors with greater clinical expertise. I think I am a caring doctor, with an awareness of my own knowledge limitations; I am a decent doctor. That's it. I am no worse than that and no better.

I just thought you should know.


TUFFENUF said...

We all tell the stories that we remember that put us in a good light. Those are the stories that we like, and the stories that we are proud of. Of course we could tell the sad, bad, or depressing tales of our lives - but that would be depressing to us and our readers. Blogging is such a new way to get our feelings out, but still remain somewhat annonymous and not so vunerable. You are embarrassed about your mother being proud about you - and you apoligise by saying that you weren't trying to blow your own horn, and that you aren't really as faultless as you sound. Your readers enjoy your postings, your personality shines through. You are an interesting character, and I am glad that I discovered your blog. You are an incredible writer and I believe that someday you will become an actual published author (if you want to) I, for one, will buy your book! Keep on blogging! I know you well enough now to tell you that I hope we never lose touch with each other. (one day I will come to Australia and find you!)-Tuff

Anonymous said...

not to worry we Know you are human! We like to read all those great meoments or we wouldn't come back and back and back some more!

donna y said...

What? You say you're not perfect? That would sure make life boring if you were. I always feel guilty after writing about something depressing or bitter. At the same time, it's an excellent and healthy outlet.

doubleknot said...

We are not perfect - how boring that would be - then we wouldn't have joy.
I am sorry I had to laugh at the patient that you saluteded - belive it or not I was in a store one time asking questions and the clerk was barking 'orders' at me and I did my best 'Yes, Sir' salute to him which I though was funny.

T. said...

Jelly, we lurkers, follow your blog because we enjoy it. You have well written posts, and when we are done reading your stories we can leave with a little bit of joy in our finger tips. Your posts are not fraudulent because you don't always point out the negative aspects in your life. Worry not, dear Jelly. Your friends and admirers come to visit you because we enjoy your stories, your perspectives.

And do not forget to be thankful for having such a lovely mother. Because after following your posts for the last few months, I would bust with pride if you were my daughter as well.

P.S. Over on my continent it is the cat who ate the canary...

Suzanne said...

your Mom sounds like mine! Isn't it wonderful to have a Mom who loves us so unconditionally?

And remember, without the lows we would not experience the highs...or something to that nature!

Flossy said...

Oh no - you are human!! LOL
Jelly, we are all the same - if I have nothing good to say, then I don't post about the boring, the nasty, the unhappy. It all goes on, but I don't particularly want to inflict that on others :)

Keep on doing what you are doing, because you are doing a fine job xx

Alice said...

You haven't disillusioned me, Jelly, because I'm laughing so hard at the mental vision of you saluting the patient. What did he do? Bet he didn't even notice.

Feel free at anytime, Jelly, to relate the other side of your life if it helps you to come to terms with it. No one will be any less supportive of you. Like most of your readers, it is not only the subject of your posts, but the wonderfully humorous way you write about them that we love.

I still think you are great - human frailties and all!

Kerri said...

She's humble too! Jelly, you're perfect :)
Well, almost :)
It's easy to see why we all love you and your endearing pour it into every post. How wonderful to have that ability.
Your mum has every right to be proud of you. She should be proud of her nurturing too, because she has obviously had a great deal to do with the person you've become.
Well done Mum! Give her a pat on the back for me :) And lucky you to have such a loving and appreciative mum.
P.S. I'm simply saying you're an especially sweet sage :) (Had to throw in some amazing've created a monster!)

The Four Bears in the Woods said...

I think everyone pretty much summed up what I wanted to say. Everyone is not perfect, we are all human. I enjoy your posts very much.

Mama Bear

Motherkitty said...

Jelly, just stopped in (late at night when everyone else is asleep) to say "hi". We have a house full of company sleeping everywhere. More expected tomorrow for a big cookout and birthday party.

I don't think it would matter what subject you wrote about. We would all love you just the same and would continue to admire your ability to tell the story. I personally read your posts and feel as if you were writing a personal letter to each and every one of us. If you were to write about all the lousy things in your life, we would still love what you had to say.

BTW, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, meaning your mother must be some terrific person also.

mackeydoodle said...

You are a special person Jelly. We all have our good points & not so good points. That is what makes us human. You have compassion & I have been to too many Dr.s that do not have that.
If Dr.Jelly was my Doctor I would be a hypochondriac!!!:)

John Cowart said...

Compliments are hard to take. They mean the other person has placed a value on you. If you turn the compliment aside, then you devalue that person's judgment; If you accept it and take it to heart, then it caries a threat that you may not live up to the value.
I'm always afraid of being found out and exposed as a fraud.
But, even at that, I think the best thing to do is say, "Thank you, that makes me feel good".
Besides, what's wrong with just being decent?
It's not your doctoring but your character that keeps me looking for your posts every day.

Mimi said...

Human nature is such that we tend to try to stick with the positive and drop the rest. It's a good thing too, in the end it helps us out in many ways. To me a doctor's disposition and positive outlook is critical in my care and that of my children. I know you all sometimes are thinking about whether or not you defrosted the chicken, the cat was already out of the bag. Don't worry about it.

Franny said...

You're human. That's a relief!

If it makes you feel better, I'm secretly a cynical bumbling idiot who is faking it.

Members of the "Fraud Club" unite!

Heather said...

You're still my favorite doctor, Jelly! ;-)

manababies said...

Oh you are way too humble! :P

You're a great writer. So I'm sure if you were to blog about something that you might consider not blog-worthy, I will still eat up every single word. Your blog puts me in a good mood when I read it.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

We already knew all these things about you...because even though you are a wonderful caring doctor, you are human, and humans do make mistakes at times. We love you even with your so called imperfections and you can't drive us away...we will still continue to enjoy reading what you have to say, because you say it so well.