Thursday, August 17, 2006

small humans go feral

Over the past 24 hours, my children have morphed into evil creatures. I want to make a list of their misdemeanours. One day when I am driving them crazy (dribbling, muttering spitefully about their spouses, getting lost in the grocery store), this list may soften their hearts towards me.

In the past day, my angels have:

1) foraged wildly in our store-room, tipping out the contents of several boxes of carefully-sorted old toys onto the floor

2) decided to refill the paint pots in the easel downstairs - in the process, spilling paint onto themselves, the floor, the couch (eeek, not the couch!), the hallway (from their feet, as they trotted down to the bathroom to get a cloth to 'clean up'), the bathroom sink, counter, floor, and the shower recess. I'm not sure WHY there was paint in the shower recess. It was one helluva mess.

3) brazenly ripped some plants out of the ground when we visited friends yesterday evening (causing me to have to send one child to the laundry and one to the spare room, where they sat, wailing mournfully, as if I was an unnaturally mean mother)

4) shoved the other, violently (Laura did this to Ben)

5) bitten, in retaliation (Ben did this to Laura)

There were other more minor incidents, (such as sneaking peanut butter from the jar with grubby fingers, when my back was turned), but the crimes I've listed were the major ones. I figure if I have to put up with another 365 days X 15 years of this, I'll be well within my rights to become a truly crotchety old lady. I'm going to start right now with the muttering.....


Heather said...

You mean, you're not crotchedy now? Ah, I'm just pickin' on ya, Jelly!

Motherkitty said...

Here's another "time" related topic for you -- giving your kids a good time-out, standing in the corner.

What naughty little normal-acting kiddies! Don't we wish our kids were perfect little angels all the time? Yours are only being themselves, and they were especially trying to be helpful by trying to clean up the paint in the shower stall.

Hope things have calmed down somewhat in your house.

TUFFENUF said...

Jelly, I hate to say it to ya, but I long for my days to be that simple again. Hug them, squeeze them, because soon they will not be the little ones that think you are the smartest person in the world. Soon they will be teenagers, and they will think you are SO STUPID! Yum, grubby fingers in the peanut butter! Cherish these times, you will laugh at them later. -Crotchety Tuff

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Your children are SO NORMAL Jelly and what fun you'll have making that list to bring up later.

My 3 little stairsteps picked ALL the flowers in a neighbor's yard once, put them in a glass of water and knocked on her door and gave them to her, because she was sick. It was a very nice thought, but the neighbor lady didn't appreciate it one bit and was very upset.

Kids sometimes just take it upon themselves to do things, but it trying to fill up the paint jars on their own, without your help.

The kids and I have a lot of fun talking & laughing about the things they did when they were small and sometimes when one of my grandchildren does something similarly wrong, I just simply say to my child..."payback"...and smile.

susan said...

I can honestly say I don't miss those days, it is much quieter now, they are all grown up, responsible adults. But I do have to smile when one of the grandchildren acts like this, payback indeed!

Mimi said...

Your house sounds very like mine. Today a gerbil was dropped on the floor and the dog ate it and this all happened while I was out for 15 minutes and didn't have my cell phone.


Kerri said...

I visited this morning but had to rush off without commenting. You just reminded me to come back :) Thanks for the visit!
'Feral' is such a great word to describe little people's 'mishaps'. You know Mum, they weren't trying to be bad, don't you? All those incidents can easily be explained away....
They're your offspring and Jellyma's they can't be too awfully bad, can they now? :)

Franny said...

Seriously Jelly, you think THAT's bad? Your children are VICTORIAN NOBILITY compared to my little Orcs. But what would we blog about, if the kids weren't so interesting? Also, my hubby does that little peanut butter trick you mentioned, *swoon, oh my HERO*.

Anyhow, you're a great mom, doing the best you can, and I admire your honesty and humour. I'll let you in on a little secret, but don't tell anyone: we're all making it up as we go!!!

Kati said...

Oh, I laughed so hard because it brought back so many memories of my own...I swear I read somewhere that some authority has confirmed that indeed, insanity is inherited: you get it from your kids!