Thursday, September 20, 2007

missing in action

I'm not sure if I should say I've been missing in action, or missing in inaction. I've been a very slack blogger lately, neither commenting nor writing (though reading everything - always reading). I've been feeling worn down at work and at home, and migraines have been descending upon me like mean sprites, poking my tender brain with their knobbly fingers. I'm craving a holiday like some sort of vacation-junkie.

Today I sheepishly phoned a woman I'd consulted with last Saturday morning. It had occurred to me during the week that when I'd seen this polite and sweet lady (ironically, to assess her progress in managing her anxiety), I had been somewhat distracted (some would even say anxious). At the time I saw Tara, my appointment schedule was in disarray, with extended time spent dealing with a previous patient who admitted having attempted suicide that morning, and another before that who was having a crisis of a different nature. So here was Tara, seeking some reassurance and a listening ear. Yet there I was, thinking of the restless waiting room, and wishing Tara had come to me for just the anxiety management, rather than also with her children's test results to be looked at and a request for two more referrals. I wasn't focused, I wasn't listening well, my empathy had flown the coop and I didn't give Tara the kindness she deserved from her family doctor. So I phoned her today and admitted it. Told her I was sorry that I'd been distracted; admitted I'd been stressed but apologised that I should have put that stress to one side the minute she entered the room. Tara thanked me, but told me there was no need to be sorry. She told me I was only human. Which is true, but still. That seems like a handy excuse for just about anything.

A holiday would be good. My patients need a holiday from me, and I'd love to be in charge of nothing more than buying fish and chips.

But hey! What's this I see in my crystal ball, what is this blurry portent of my future? I see ..... my family, I see ..... a plane, and look! - there's a stretch of wild windy coastline not far from a major wine-growing region. It's a HOLIDAY !!!!

In two days, we leave for two weeks of R&R. I'll be unlikely to post while I'm away, but will try to find an internet cafe and check blogs now & then.

Take care of yourselves, everyone. Meggie and Heather, feel better soon. John, I'm sending you a big hug. Freefalling, I hope you are enjoying your blog-holiday, but hope you get back to blogging when you feel ready. T, you get a big, tight hug too. And a kiss on the cheek.

In a while crocodile :)


Puss-in-Boots said...

Jelly, I'm so glad you're going on holiday. From personal experience, I know how hard you medicos work. Always at the beck and call of your patients during your day.

Enjoy, relax and don't dare think of work...that's an order! We'll see you when you come back all rested and glowing.

Have a wonderful time with your family, Jelly, you deserve it.

susan said...

Speaking from recent vacation experience, there is nothing like getting away from it all, I am sure you will come back a different person (well not too different I hope). Have a great time!

mackeydoodle said...

Hmmmm your clues lead me to believe you are coming the Canada way?
Either way, have a great holiday & if you should be coming anywhere near Alberta let me know cuz' I would love yo meet you!

Heidi said...

Enjoy! Relax!

Heather said...

Have a GREAT vacation, my friend!

meggie said...

I was just saying to one of our GP husband/wife team today, he looks tired, & he admitted they are having their first real holiday early next year! After a several year drought on holidays! Not fair!
Enjoy your break Jelly. I have a feeling you may be in my near vicinity. Enjoy that wine, & let us hope the weather is kind!

freefalling said...

You broke my heart with your story.
(I told you - there's doctors and then there's doctors!)
You're a kind soul.

I hope your holiday is restful and fun and you make lots of wonderful memories with your loved ones.
I hope your weary bones find some peace.

fifi said...

have a fabulous time dr jelly!!!

read some lovely books, play some fun games, and best of all, eat as much food that other people have cooked for you as you can!

bon voyage!!!

Alice said...

I hope you enjoy this holiday as much as you deserve to, which is a lot!

Even though you may not be blogging, I'm sure you'll be storing up ideas for posts every day.

Have a wonderful time, Jelly. We'll miss you.

Anonymous said...

At least someone is getting a holiday!!

Kerri said...

As Tara said, you're only human, so don't be too hard on yourself. It was sweet gesture to call her and apologise.
I'm sure your mind is sometimes completely full up with so many different things that you're utterly overwhelmed. Heck, that happens to me and I'm not a Dr.!!
I'd love to be in charge of nothing more than buying fish and chips too :)
Hope you have a wonderful get-away with your family Jelly dear, and get rested up!!! We'll miss you. xox

shellyC said...

enjoy!!! beaches and wine - that will cure almost anything!!!!....for awhile anyway!!

woogoon said...

Come to where the life is grand and you can switch off and live your life as just you - not as a doctor - come North!!

Enjoy your well earned break - don't stay away too long!!

TUFFENUF said...

Enjoy your well deserved holiday!

thisisme said...

Jelly, that took a lot of courage and grace to make that call to Tara. Brava. Have a wonderful holiday, stay out of internet cafes and have a good proper rest with the family.

Sandy said...

If anyone deserves a Holiday, it's you from all the pressures of healing & saving lives.

Have a great holiday & thanks for the early birthday wish...You are so thoughtful.

Remiman said...

A vaykay in a wine growing region is just what the doctor ordered.
We're "just" human, meaning that we're imperpect, and thank goodness for that for if we were perfect we wouldn't have any friends.

Val said...

At least you have an excuse for not blogging, such as going on holiday. (More than I can say about myself) You deserve it, Jelly. Enjoy!