Tuesday, February 28, 2006

love, spoken and unspoken

My husband, Fatty, is not a gushy type of man. I sometimes get to feeling unappreciated, because he is sparing with his praise. Fatty doesn't often speak of why he loves me. I'm rarely told that I am a good mother, or partner. Most times when we go out together, my careful preparations go unnoticed, or at least Fatty seems not to notice. He doesn't mention anything. He's not one to compliment me automatically.

On the weekend, Fatty and I went to a party together (which, by the way, was LOTS of fun - thanks everyone for your good wishes! I danced to 'Dancing Queen' with my friend KP and we thought all our Christmases had come at once. And Motherkitty, I did wear purple eyeshadow!). There were people there we hadn't seen for a long time. We mingled, mostly separately, for most of the evening, occasionally meeting up with a smile and a touching of hands. Fatty looked surprisingly dashing in his spangly shirt. I glanced across, every now and then, as Fatty talked and laughed with friends and acquaintainces. He wasn't gesticulating wildly, or loudly commanding the attention of several people at once. My husband has no artifice. He is simply a calm, friendly, genuine man.

Later, as we lay on our backs in bed, discussing the night's events, Fatty said something that made me realise that love doesn't need to be dissected, in order to prove it exists.

Fatty said, " I'm glad you're my wife."

"What do you mean?", I asked. " Why are you glad I'm your wife?"

"At the party, when I looked for you, and I saw you, I just thought, 'That's my wife'. And I was happy that you were my wife."

Although Fatty didn't explain himself further, I knew what he meant. Because at the party, when I sought him out with my eyes, I found him with a sense of finding home. I am always drawn to the way he looks, but more than that, I love the way he is. There was no-one at that party who could make me feel that way. There never is.

I guess I am someone who likes to articulate my feelings. It's just the way I am. But I forget sometimes that, whether or not it is defined, love is love. It doesn't always need explaining.

19 comments:

Motherkitty said...

Oh, Jelly, I feel as if we are intruding into rooms we shouldn't be looking into when you talk about the love you and Fatty share. How very sweet, honest, loving, and kind you both are. What a poignant moment to share with us.

I am very happy that you had such a wonderful time at the party. I'm sure you were the Dancing Queen of the evening and had loads of fun -- purple eyeshadow and all to match your top. Loved your outfits and I'm sure you two looked great in them.

Your words were better than a Valentine's card.

Flossy said...

Simple words are all that is needed.

A beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing :)

DayByDay4-2Day said...

I really like that sentence!

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

What a touching post...You and Fatty are just perfect for each other. Sometimes people don't have to communicate with words...a look and a touch of a hand are all that is needed. You can tell that you are loved by the way that he treats you. Words don't mean anything if they're not sincere, but actions can speak louder than words.

Heather said...

Awww! That was a wonderful thing for Fatty to say. And a wonderful thing for you to write.

I have warm fuzzies now. :-)

Bron said...

Hi hi from another of your many cousins!!

Love reading your blogs - your writing is so animated, whether it's about the kids, the fella or just life in general.

I love this one today. Brings a smile to my face to read about the love you two share.

Your blog has only recently been revealed to me, but I have spent the last hour catching up with all the previous posts!

You certainly have a calling in the writing business...

Take care of those gorgeous kiddles - they have grown up so much already! :)

jellyhead said...

Oh dear, my mother has been telling people my blog address!!

Bron, it was lovely to hear from you (even if a little embarrassing for me to realise someone who KNOWS me has read my blog!), and thank you for your very kind comments. Hopefully we'll catch up sometime soon and I can hear your news, instead of you just reading all my ravings.

Now, just excuse me while I go hunt down my mother....!

manababies said...

This is just so sweet. So very sweet!

Bron said...

tehe, well mothers will always be proud of their own...

Even if at the expense of their own!

My man and I have a blog of our own, while we are on our overseas adventures. Do you mind if I post it to you in one of these comments?

shellyC said...

Glad you had such a fantastic night at the party and that it was made even more special by the simple words of your wonderful Fatty!! thanks for sharing!!

Val said...

Very touching post, and so good to hear about good relationships these days.

susan said...

Sounds like the perfect end to a perfect evening! Every now and then the guys actually say the right thing at the right time!

TUFFENUF said...

We all know you better with each post. You are such a good writer. I enjoy your stories so much. Your post reminded me of the song, "Save the last dance for me". It is nice that you and Fatty do appreciate each other, even if he doesn't say it enough.

jellyhead said...

Hi again Bron,

I'd love to read your blog, so have just spoken to your dear mum, and I now have the address in my possession! Will speak to you there!

your anonymous cousin :)

Suzanne said...

aahhhhh! that was sweet! i'm glad you had fun at the party!

John Cowart said...

Tried to comment yesterday but the blogger machine locked me out... Anyhow, this is really beautiful.

Kerri said...

And you articulate so well! Beautiful thoughts. Your Fatty sounds like a lovely man....and you, a lovely wife and mum.
Glad you had fun at the party :)

Alipurr said...

very sweet, glad you had fun

MrsGreenThumb said...

Husbands can be endearing at times can't they! :)