Friday, November 24, 2006

touchy feely

As blogfriends, we have no real way of knowing what each other would be like in person. Many of us never show our faces on our blogs. We don't hear how other bloggers sound. We can't see our blogpals' gestures, mannerisms. And we have no idea whether, were we ever to meet, a particular blogger buddy might smother us in a breathquashing hug, kiss on the cheek whilst performing a small shoulder pat, extend a stiff hand, or nod shyly.

When it comes to how affectionate a person is, I reckon most people fall into categories 1 to 4:

Category 1: kisses and/or hugs everyone except the garbage man. Takes any social greeting as an opportunity to grab a hug, and lay a smacker on the other person's cheek (people belonging to subcategory 1b will actually plant a kiss on the mouth of any stray relative, no matter how distant. Whiskery Great Aunt Joys are often to be found in subcategory 1b). Touches others readily, and without self-consciousness. Category 1 people are known to rub the pregnant bellies of complete strangers.

Category 2: greets close friends and close family with hugs and/or kisses, but is a little more discerning with casual friends or extended family members. Especially loving and affectionate with children and partners, Category 2 people are very cuddly within their select circle. Will often touch an acquaintance on the shoulder or hand if the acquaintance is upset or ill, but will otherwise keep their hands to themselves.

Category 3: more guarded, Category 3 people will generally regularly embrace close family only. Even then, they may receive complaints that they don't show enough affection.They will make an exception for friends or other family members in distress. They may even learn to accept hugs from friends who belong to category 1 or 2, but category 3-ers will rarely initiate this physical intimacy. Category 3 people are not naturally 'touchy'.

Category 4: these people are extremely self-contained, and rarely touch others. Category 4 members will only offer another person a hug at funerals, and only immediate family. They may stiffen if embraced by others, and leave their arms like planks of wood by their sides. Although some category 4-ers have blood-stained axes under their beds, many more were simply never shown physical affection as children.

Personally, I think I'm a category 2. Some of my husband's friends are category 1, and I enjoy their vivacity and warmth. Fatty is more of a Category 3, but lucky for me, I'm in his 'inner circle'! I hope my children grow up to be affectionate, too. I want to receive hugs from them all my life.

So, are any of you prepared to reveal your category?!


Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

I used to be more of a 3 but I've morphed into a 2 in my 30s and since having the children. I'm more of a kisser at work now (that sounds so ick) with people who've shared a lengthy past with me, but who I haven't seen for a while...

I may be on the bottom end of Category 2 though, because it drove me nuts to have Category 1s touching me up each time I was pregnant!

John Cowart said...

How in the world did you guess about the axe under the bed?

That's often the way I feel.

But, I think anyone who know me is likely to say I'd fit in Category 2.

When I die, I'd like to be rembered as a person who loved.

Heather said...

I probably qualify as a category 2. :-)

T. said...

I grew up in a category 4 home. The only touching I experienced unfortunately was when my dad's backhand connected with my cheek or my butt.

Which turned me into a category 3. But then I married Boo, who is a firm category 1. From a long line of category 1 people.

Talk about overwhelming!

Well, I can honestly say I have had category 3 kissed and hugged right out of me. 13 years later, I am now a category 2.

And proud of it.

My kids, God bless them, are definetly category 1's, like their daddy.

But it would take some strong liquor to get me to touch any woman's pregnant belly. Except my sister's. I slathered the love on that belly, just so my nephew would love me bestest!

Remiman said...

I'm definitely a category 2.
I grew up in a
category 4 family. How I progressed to a 2 I've no idea but it seems to suit me very well.

Stomper Girl said...

Just found you via Bec and the RSM game. I'm definitely a #2, and so far my kids are category 1's which I love and makes them very popular with people we meet!

Anonymous said...

I think that I am about a one and a half. My Mom is a definate 4, and still stiffens up when I hug her! It all depends on how well we know each other. If we were to ever meet, you might extend your hand - then I would take your hand and pull you in for a quick hug -cause I have never met you, Jelly, and I don't even know your real name - but I do know that I do love you!

Kerri said...

I'm a 2 too! No, not a tu tu, a 2 too!
OK, I've had a little too much Thanksgiving leftovers, with apple pie to top it off tonight and my humour is not up to par. Sorry. I need to get some serious sleep because I was awake for a good part of last night. Too much excitement I guess. We had a hilariously fun Thanksgiving and all acted like category oners!
Sending hugs from one category 2 to another Ms. Jelly :) (see, no name calling tonight!:)

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I used to be a 3 then married into Jimmy's family, who are all 1's...Now I am happily a 2.

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid I was definitely a 1, but now I'm older I would say I'm a 2 - there are some people I just don't want to hug! Verbally though I'm much more of a 1 - pet names and terms of endearment just seem to fly off my tongue.

Motherkitty said...

Aw, what the heck. Just come here so I can plant a big, old, sloppy big one on you!!!

Love ya.

shellyC said...

I am happily a category 2 although I look forward to the day when I am old and whiskery and will be an over the top category 1!!!!

Mimi said...

By nature I'm a 3 1/2, not because I have the ax but the second reason you mentioned. However, I was blessed with a hubby who is a 1 and kids who hug day and night so I've happily morphed into a 2.