Tuesday, January 09, 2007

being true to my name

There's nothing quite like a good old laugh at yourself. Or maybe it's only me who feels this way. After all, I have found myself, over the years, to be an endless source of pea-brained errors and social gaffes.

At any rate, I amuse myself regularly, but here's one of my better blunders.

Last week, I saw one of my regular patients, who confessed to me she'd become ill after taking some diet pills. She told me the name of the pills, which made me raise my eyebrows a little. "Really? Were they really called F** B******?", I asked 'Katrina'. She nodded, and I furrowed my brow. "Hmmm. Maybe they're aimed more at men?" I mused. I checked my medications database, but found nothing by the same name. I wondered if perhaps it was a new tablet.

Later, I carefully documented the name of the pills in my notes. Katrina was well again, and I thought nothing of it until yesterday.

Our practice nurse 'Meg', sidled into my room, smirking. She'd been looking up some blood test results for Katrina, and had seen my notes.

"I think you may have misheard Katrina Fenton", she sniggered.

"What?", I asked, nose buried in paperwork.

"Those diet pills she took..." (more smirking)


"I think they were called 'Fat Blaster'."

(small pause)

"As opposed to 'Fat Bastard'."

At this point we both lost our composure and began snort-laughing and clutching our bellies. I had tears. Meg had tears. I had to take several deep breaths before ushering in the next patient, and even then I think I may have smiled inappropriately. I am still grinning like a lunatic and chuckling to myself as I write this now.


Can't you just see a burly beer-bellied bloke ambling up to the pharmacist?

- 'Ray, I'm going to need another bottle of those Fat Bastards.'


Motherkitty said...

OMG, I want some of those if they really work! That story is hilarious. Freudian slip, was it? Pray, tell us more, dear doctor.

Remiman said...

That is too precious!! It's embarassing and hilarious at the same time.

Anonymous said...

I hurt from laughing. Thanks Jelly for making my day :)

shellyC said...

That is so funny!!
Mind you I wouldn't be surprised if that was a name given to such medication!
Laughing like that would have tightened up the tummy muscles!

T. said...

That is hilarious.

But I should enlighten you Jelly.

Here in Canada there is an awfully good winery that bottles a beautiful red called Fat Bastard.

So I can indeed see a burly, beer bellied man ask for some FB. Perhaps not at a pharmacy though!

Remiman said...

J'ai écrit une réponse pour vous sur mon blog.

Anonymous said...

oh !!I howled with laughter.

What a great story, Jelly.

Anonymous said...

Really funny, Jel! Yes, there is a FAT BASTARD wine though, but I would not want to ask for it! Tell your patient that the FAT BLASTER pills do work. You leave them at a store at least a mile away from your home, and then you jog up everyday and take one, then jog back home. The weight will come off in no time!

Anonymous said...

You make going to the doctor so much fun, I can't wait til my next visit with you!

Franny said...

Thats awesome! Yes indeed, that was a jellyhead moment... I was thinking "who the hell would take something called fat bastard anyways?"

I know I wouldn't!

At least you didn't repeat what you thought you heard to the patient, or give her a printout of FAT BASTARD results, lmfao!

Anonymous said...

Yes I can really see the men going into the pharmacy - but what about the women? I can almost picture a woman announcing that she is looking for some fat bastards!! Hee Hee

Nice Blog

Kerri said...

I read this post 2 days ago when Blogger was down for maintenance and wouldn't let me comment. So now I've read it twice and laughed twice as much.
Hilarious! And thinking of you and Meg cracking up and you smiling inappropriately while trying to seriously deal with a patient makes it even funnier. Truly a Jellyhead moment! I hope you have more of them to share with us in the future :) Keep having fun Jelly!

Alice said...

I'm sure there were many medications given similarly strange names when doctors used to handwrite prescriptions (not YOU, of course, Jelly!!)

At least you and Meg got your tonic for the day - a good laugh (and so did we).

Sharon said...

This is why we love you. That is hilarious!

Mimi said...

The funniest part was your comment that perhaps they were aimed more at men! I'm still laughing and remember "laughter is the best medicine". Thanks for sharing your funny.