Monday, December 12, 2005

letter from afar

Today I got a letter from the National Climate Change Policy Division, London. It arrived at the medical centre where I work.

It says,

"Dear Ms (Jellyhead),

Thank you for your letter to the Prime Minister about climate change......BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.....

The government agrees with the views you express on the seriousness of the threat of climate change. .....BLAH, BLAH, BLAH....

With respect to your concern over the adoption of clean energy...BLAH BLAH BLAH".

The letter runs on for 7 pages.

I am thrilled to have received such a lengthy and detailed missive. Mr Edward Clark (of National Climate Change Policy Division) has done his division proud.

I am just a little perplexed. After all, I have never written a letter to anyone about climate change. If I did, I would hope to have the sense to address it to the Australian Prime Minister ('Dear Johnny Howard, our beloved and bushy-eyebrowed leader').

So the burning question is...who wrote a letter and signed it Ms 'Jellyhead'?

Maybe I have been sleep-writing. Maybe I suffer from amnesia (but have forgotten that I do). Or maybe someone is impersonating me (you know, dressing in fashions from 3 years ago, neglecting to sweep the kitchen floor until it makes a scrunching sound when walked on, and habitually scratching their scalp whilst reading).

It's a real life mystery. Go figure.


Motherkitty said...

Your name has been usurped! You have been taken over by aliens who possess your writing hand and make you write letters to strangers, and then don't allow you to remember in the morning! This is a crime against nature!

Actually, the real crime is the use of all that paper to write absolutely nonsensical rhetoric to total strangers when big governments around the world can't agree on ANYTHING useful or worthwhile.

My husband is always writing to our congressmen about one issue or another. He dutifully receives back these missives that talk and talk but fail to say anything. I think it's a part of training for those in political office to produce a spiel like an eddy that goes around and around but never answers the question for fear of committal.

So much for politicians. The mystery remains that you must have a doppelganger out in the world somewhere.

Heather said...

I am glad someone else's kitchen floor scrunches occassionally!

At least the person impersonating you is concerned about clean air rather than equal rights for nudists or some such tpic.

Alice said...

Like Motherkitty, my first thought on reading about your letter was that whilst they may be concerned about climate change, it seems it's quite okay to waste 7 pages of paper in their reply.

Do you mean to say that they didn't ask for your bank account details? Oh no, those letters used to come from Nigeria, didn't they .......

Actually, you and the writer would probably like to indulge in a little climate change at the moment. You could send him some hot, dry weather and he could send you some wet, cooler weather. Just in time for Christmas.

Val said...

Scrunchy kitchen floors? I immediately felt at home!