I really want to wind down this evening, but my children keep calling me from their beds... " There's a mozzie in here" (there was), " I can hear a funny noise" (a bird outside cooing) and "I'm a bit scared" (due to said bird). I can feel my nerves coiled up like a roll of barbed wire - each strand caught up on another so that spontaneous unwinding is unlikely.
The thing about small children is they just hang around their parents 24 hours a day. You can't shake them. They're always there. Sometimes the relentlessness of caring for them is tough, but far worse than that is the constant worry. I suspect I worry more than some, so maybe others reading this won't relate. On the other hand, maybe I'm not as odd as I think.
I find it hard to ever fully relax, even when Louey and Ben are fast asleep. If they cough, I worry that they're getting sick. If they murmur or mutter, I worry that they're getting sick. If they nightmare, I hit the ground running to get to them before the dream monster does. And if they actually are sick, I worry even more.
I'm sure if I would just listen to a relaxation tape, take a bath, or listen to some soothing music, I would feel a lot better. But before I calm down enough to do that, I need to relax somehow.....