it's a dog's life

Millie the beagle is a bad bad dog. She looks like a sweet, loving, obedient hound. However, she is a Hoover on legs, and will eat anything, anywhere, anytime. Just the other day, she stole Ben's bug-catcher from the table, carried it down into the back yard, and pried the lid off with her teeth -all to gain access to a small tomato inside (in which a caterpillar was innocently living its munching life).
If we have visitors over, and we go to the door with them to say goodbye, we will return inside to find whatever food remained has mysteriously disappeared. Hmm we say, I thought we still had half a cake left...
Once, when Fatty and I were doing last-minute packing on the day we were leaving for an overseas trip, I found my toiletry bag had been attacked. All that was left of an entire month's worth of contraceptive pill was the much-chewed foil packet. I rang the vet in a flap, worried that something awful might happen - vomiting, diarrhoea, perhaps abdominal pain? The vet could hardly contain his hilarity and could only remark that the dog certainly wouldn't fall pregnant now. HA HA.
Somehow, despite the fact she has no regard for my authority, I respect Millie's ingenuity and sheer bravado. And she does have the softest ears ever.