Tuesday, November 08, 2005

it's a jungle out there

Saturday night I went to a bar. I haven't done this for a long time. Bars are full of very thin blond girls with impossibly perfect legs. If I ever for some reason wanted to feel old and haggard, I would head for the nearest bar.

I had decided, though, that it was unfair that my friend, Chooky, and I always spend our time together having sedate cups of tea, or watching DVDs, or going for walks. Chooky is single (divorced), and is surrounded by dull marrieds. I figured it might be fun for her to actually get out, chat to new people, dance. Chooky was keen, so the evening was born.

We started by having a cocktail each, in a small Latin bar full of women out on a 'hen's night'. The bride-to-be wore an Alice band with 2 small flashing penises attached to it. Our cocktails were good, and we caught up on each others' news. Eventually, though, we hopped off our stools and went around the corner to another bar.

This bar wasn't too daunting, because there were men & women aged from mid-20's to mid-50's. We bought fresh drinks, but barely had time to start on them before a group of 4 thirty-something guys came over. They'd been at the cricket all day, and were a bit drunk, and a bit rumpled. One of them, Chris, was particularly chatty, and soon focused on Chooky. He flirted, he chatted, he was amusing and self-deprecating. We asked him about himself - he told us he was 37, a building project manager, and unmarried, with no children. He acted all hurt when he told us he was unmarried, saying, " I hate telling people I'm not married at my age; I feel like a failure". I'm sure you can see where this is going, and don't worry - Chooky and I were maintaining a healthy scepticism throughout the conversation with Chris (if that indeed was his name). When Chris went to the bathroom, we asked a few questions of one of the quieter blokes. Dale admitted that Chris was in actual fact married to 'a lovely woman', and had a son. Chris was apparently a serial cheater. Chooky soon gave Chris the brush-off, so we were able to witness him moving on to try to seduce other women in the bar. It was sad and pathetic.

Chooky and I went on to have so much fun - we chatted to some other (much nicer) people there, and we danced for hours. We are still talking about our 'old ladies hit the town' night! But it really brought home to me how dishonest some men are. I know women can be dishonest, too, but perhaps not as much in this particular scenario? (any men reading this, feel free to defend yourselves here!) I can't believe this idea that you can have your cake, and eat it, too. And the surveys all tell us this kind of thing is so prevalent.
The icing on the cake (no pun intended) was that this same guy, Chris, said to me, "How can your husband let you go out to bars like this?".(My answer was that my husband trusts me implicitly, as he has every right to) So not only did Chris go out intending to 'score' - he also obviously wouldn't approve of his wife even going out at night. Talk about double standards.

I went home in the early hours of the morning, and crawled in next to my darling, trusting, tolerant husband, and thanked my lucky stars. Good men of the world, I salute you. Deceitful men of the world, don't come anywhere near me or mine!


shellyC said...

Loved your comment about heading to the nearest bar if you want to feel old and haggard!!! I agree!!

I too thank my little lucky stars that I too can go out (when I can possibly muster the energy)...and come home to a wonderful and trusting husband.

susan said...

Aren't you glad not to be single and to have to resort to this ritual of bar hopping in the quest for a mate?

Sounds like the experience was a good one all in all, good to get out with friends, good to come home to family.

Motherkitty said...

Pity the poor unsuspecting female, out on a nice evening for some "innocent" intimate encounter or just plain fun, who must pass prospective partners through physical and psychological tests before they are deemed acceptable. It's not like going to the market and testing the fruit before you buy. How times have changed!

I feel for your friend and what she has to endure. Glad you had a reasonably entertaining evening, though, and went home to a nice warm, welcoming bed.

Heather said...

I wish I could take you to Pete's Piano Bar in Austin, Jellyhead! It is so much fun! And I promise, my thighs wouldn't make anyone jealous ;-)

Athenian Monk said...
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Athenian Monk said...
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AM43 said...

Hi, in your profile you say that you lack the skill to be a writer. I don't wish to be rude, but I disagree. I've read all your posts and I believe you have the skill to write well. You seem to be able to see several perspectives at the same time or at least can jump from one to the next easily. I'll be you are a very good physician too. Regards, Joni

Serena said...

Allo Allo Jellyhead! Its horrible to know that men are very deceitful. I hope to never fall for one, because I have before. I hope my self esteem is higher than those who go for these asshole men. I hope you had fun that night, bars are pretty fun once in a while.