Tonight I wrote a silly, flippant post, posted it, and then took it down within minutes. I felt like I wasn't being very real.
Instead I'll be all serious and tell you about my dream.
I dreamt, a couple of nights ago, that I had inoperable ovarian cancer. In the dream, all I could think of was my children, how they would be left without a mother. I felt terrible guilt that I had ignored a minor symptom (which I have in real life, but which is inconsequential) which was the KEY to early diagnosis, according to my weird dream. I was devastated beyond words.
Even now, awake, rational (-ish) and being a 'medical' person....I have this uncontrollable urge to go get a scan. It's like I believe in my dream as a portent of what's to come. I am aware this sounds ridiculously sombre and ghoulish. I can't explain it.
Maybe I've been watching too much TV.