Monday, January 16, 2006

nightmare

Tonight I wrote a silly, flippant post, posted it, and then took it down within minutes. I felt like I wasn't being very real.

Instead I'll be all serious and tell you about my dream.

I dreamt, a couple of nights ago, that I had inoperable ovarian cancer. In the dream, all I could think of was my children, how they would be left without a mother. I felt terrible guilt that I had ignored a minor symptom (which I have in real life, but which is inconsequential) which was the KEY to early diagnosis, according to my weird dream. I was devastated beyond words.

Even now, awake, rational (-ish) and being a 'medical' person....I have this uncontrollable urge to go get a scan. It's like I believe in my dream as a portent of what's to come. I am aware this sounds ridiculously sombre and ghoulish. I can't explain it.

Maybe I've been watching too much TV.

7 comments:

mackeydoodle said...
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mackeydoodle said...

Gee Jelly, that would make me a little freaked out too. Maybe you should go & get a scan just to be on the safe side.

Motherkitty said...

I'm sorry you are upset over this dream. For your peace of mind, you should probably get a health checkup and whatever that entails. Above all, trust yourself and your instincts. As a physician, you have probably heard many stories of women who "tough it out" and ignore minor symptoms. Do it for yourself and your family.

We care about you, too.

susan said...

Yes, JUST DO IT. Hopefully your dreams won't come true this time. Too much mafia methinks?

TUFFENUF said...

My friend, a female detective, "Jody" ignored her minor symptoms. When she finally checked them out, it was November 2003, She died April 1, 2004. She left her husband and her three young girls. I miss her. If I had known, I would have told her what I am telling you - GO GET IT CHECKED OUT! That is what you would tell anyone who came to you. RIGHT?

shellyC said...

As above...go get it checked out!!

You are lucky to have the knowledge of the symptoms...NOW GO!!

I have had dreams like that...they are SO disturbing.

manababies said...

Oh my, that is scary! I'd go get screened just for the sake of easing my mind. You are probably okay, but dreams like that are so unsettling!